Thursday, September 30, 2010

Now I know why all my former teachers were bitter alcoholics...

AAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!  Sometimes you just need to scream, know what i’m sayin?!?  This week has been completely exhausting and yet I’m still as happy as a fat kid with chocolate.  A lot of chocolate.  Good chocolate, with caramel on the inside.  I love my job more and more every single day and even tho I have some students that are a bit difficult (you know, difficult like climbing mount everest in flip flops difficult) I still love them.  For example, I walked into class on Wednesday to be greeted with all of the students cheering that I was going to be teaching them that day.  On the blackboard they each wrote a personal note to me about loving me and wishing I was with them everyday and other nice welcoming words.  Perfect, right??  Then, five minutes into my lesson there was so much chaos and touching and kicking and screaming that I was wishing I had earmuffs and a BIIIIGGGGG bottle of wine.  These students are soo eager to learn and so likable and yet so frustrating and annoying that my head is on the verge of exploding every time I have them.  I remember back in the day that I was a less than desirable student (didn’t rise to my full potential, a complete handful, and an all around asshole at times to my teachers) and now all I want to do is go back in time and kick my own ass for all the hell I raised for my teachers.  Looking back at all of the side comments from my teachers like “oohh, I can’t wait for the weekend” or “I work to hard to get paid so little” and the other annoying comments they said that never made sense at the time, I must say that now is the time that I have never realized how true those statements are for the life of a school teacher.  By “ooh, I can’t wait for the weekend” I now realize they meant “I am counting down the seconds to the moment when I can quit being in charge of the lives of all these bundles of exhaustion and let down my hair, put on a hot dress and drown my stress with a cheap bottle of vodka and loud raunchy music in the discoteca”...you know, in so words.  I spend hours and hours trying to make power point presentations fun and exciting and in the first 2 minutes of showing the class I have to completely change it because they are not interested or don’t understand.  All that time lost.  I would say that it makes me want to pull my hair out.  BUT, to be honest with you, I am too fond of my hair to ever think of pulling it out and I actually liiiiikkkeeee thinking on my feet, being creative, and interacting with my students.  I feel like the more stressed I am the better I am at my job.  It makes me realize how much I care about them and what I am teaching them.  I makes me feel like I am really getting my hands dirty and changing lives out here.  And, maybe the most important, it makes me feel like they know how much I want to help them.  I actually feel like I have finally found my purpose for living at the moment.  I feel like I should be writing a letter to all my old teachers and thanking them for all the hours they spent to make me a better, more well rounded person.  In that letter I feel like maybe I should also write a little apology for sucking a few years off their lives from all the stress I caused them.  wwhhhoooooopppssss.  My bad, guys.  If I could do it over I would have been a better student but to be honest with you I am glad I acted the way I did because it has made me the person I am today.  And, I have decided that I like where I am and what I am doing.  It’s weird how all things come back around to you but I am really enjoying the ride and can’t imagine doing anything else with my life right now :)  If I could convince my family to move over here with me I would say that I would never go back to the states but, baby steps, maybe I’ll just convince them to visit first...

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