you´re not supposed to draw a huge penis on the blackboard?? ooops...

No, ladies and gentlemen; I did not take a picture of it.  Sorry.  I figured it was weird enough to be standing in front of a class full of 16 year olds and their raging hormones with a great big knob on the board and opted to not draw more attention to the fact that their teacher had just drawn a HUGE DONG in class.  Let me paint you the picture.  Sit back.  Relax.  Just take this in...

Twas the week of exams and all through the school
all the students were buzzing about the tests being uncool.
The teachers were frazzled with what to ask
In hopes their students would all pass.
The students were struggling with the information in their heads
with visions of past lectures and of what their teachers have said.
And Javi and Paco were running about
while Paula and Maria were talking at a shout.
When out in the hall there arose such a clatter
and the students ran to the door to see what was the matter.
Down the hall they saw what was coming
it was their favorite teacher, Brenna, who was late and running.
Finally she entered, loud and out of breath
while the students filed back to their orderly desks.
All the other teachers made them be quiet to prepare
so Brenna made it a point to bring the fun there.
Down the class sat, eager to play
listening closely to what Brenna would say.
Would it be important or fun or interesting or boring?
Brenna made sure the lesson was fun to keep them from snoring.
It was the week of Thanksgiving and the students were to learn the story
About pilgrims and the new world and all of its glory.
Brenna drew a map of the U.S. although not the best drawer in the world,
It had a vague resemblance of America except Maine looked a bit curled.
As she was drawing a student asked her a question
she turned to asnwer while drawing as to not disturb the session.
When out of nowhere there was a big uproar with laughter
Brenna turned back to the board to see what was the matter.
She had a sneaking suspicion that it would be something quite heinous.
But when she looked she discovered Florida looked like a huge penis.

Yep.  Pulled straight out of an SNL plot.  Not only did it look like a giant penis, it was drawn so well that I couldn´t have done it better if I had been looking while I was drawing it.  My job consists of either acting things out or drawing things on the board at all times so the students keep their attention at me and understand what I am saying but I think I´m going to try to stay away from drawing things on the boad for the next few days.  Possibly weeks.  I think I am going to have to start paying closer attention to what I am drawing as well.  i.e.: Look at the flipping board when I´m drawing something.  Now, with all that aside I will tell you that not only do 16 year olds find a large wang on the board absolutely hilarious, it turns out that 23 year olds do as well. The class was laughing almost as hard as the teacher was.  That´s right, snorting and all.  I was a mess.  You know when you see something inappropriate and you know you shouldn´t laugh, making it that much funnier?  You know, like seeing someone trip at a funeral or accidentally farting when they were sneezing.  Well it was one of those.  The kids were laughing, the other teacher in the back of the room was laughing and there I was: immobalized by hysterical laughter.  It was pitiful, really.  THANK GOD the other teacher was one of the cool ones or I might have found myself in a bit of trouble.

feelin good, feelin great, feelin good...how are you?!?

I saw HARRY POTTER this weekend!!!  :D

GGAAAAAHHHHHH holy moly yet another week has gone flying by without so much as a breath, blink, or new blog.  I'm telling you, I don't know how or why it is happening, but time is just FLYING by so quickly I don't know what to do with myself!  I have been enjoying every single second of it but it turns out when you pack your day busy with teaching, school work, learning a new language, and trying to hold a healthy social life together, you find it difficult to take a step back, take a deep breathe in and enjoy the moment you are in.  I'm so busy that I think I am constantly thinking about what is next, not how much fun I'm actually having in that moment.  I know you guys are absolutely sick of me saying this; but life here is sooo perfect :)  Teaching english to my kids every day is getting more and more rewarding.  I've been teaching them for 2 months now and I'm actually already starting to see the fruits of my labor.  Kids that have failed english classes in the past are not only picking up a stronger vocabulary bank, they are forming whole sentences and are really trying to express their ideas to me COMPLETELY in english!! You have no idea how good that feeling is unless you are in this field, but it's kind of like when you take the training wheels off of your child's bike and spend weeks with your child teaching them how to ride that bike and holding it while running behind them so they don't fall and then all of the sudden one day you let go of their bike and they ride it all on their own.  It's amazing.  Perfect.  Love it.  I am also learning a whole lot about my culture by having to teach it to them.  Hey Americans: can you tell me the history of thanksgiving?? yeah, up until last week I couldn't tell it either.  BUT I did some major research, picked out the important/interesting things and now not only can I tell it to you, but my kids can too.  Pretty cool, huh?  You know what else is pretty cool?? Having me as a teacher :)  Last week I taught some of my classes American slang.  They now can say things like "Yo, bro, SUP?!?" and "Hey, chick.  Did you catch that flick last week?" "rock on, brah.  it was so cool".  I even showed them how to hit the rock and high five.  All I'm saying is: if there was a cool contest going on between all the schools that are included in our masters program, it wouldn't even be fair.  My ninos would DESTROY the chumps from the other colegios.  Needless to say my week rocked out last week and I spent the weekend at the Mexican festival around Plaza de Espanya, saw the newest Harry Potter flick (and finally had my fix of movie theater popcorn), and planning out this week's classes.  I teach from 6th grade to high schoolers so we have some major skills and ability differences along the way but it's cool to see all of them progress.  AND, to my surprise, the little kids are picking up english just as fast as the older ones.  Makes my life just that much easier, right?!?!  HOLLER!!  Living the good life over here, y'all.  If I were you I would seriously consider quitting all of your jobs, schools, and whatever else you are doing and come join me in paradise...ASAP    :)

Eat, Pray, Love? More like Complain, Whine, Talk about yourself.

Fans of the book Eat. Pray. Love.  beware: you're not going to take kindly to this blog.  AT ALL.  Where to begin, where to begin...


Well, let's just first say that it doesn't always take horrible tragedy like not being satisfied with your marriage to decide to enlighten oneself.  I would just like to point out that she had money, a nice house, great job, and a wonderful husband and she still wasn't happy.  Fine, but was it REALLY necessary for her to flip the hell out and make a mountain out of a mole hill???  Yeah, I didn't think so either.  Next, I get it, you're good looking.  Fantastic, but do you really need to remind the reader about it every 15 pages?  With your hot and steamy affairs with men half your age, which just for the record, doesn't speak very highly of you, just that the younger men liked that you either had more money and power than they did or that you were the exotic tourist that was only going to be in town for a limited time.  Therefore: no long term commitment needed.  I know what all of you are thinking, leave it to me to be the one to tear apart a nice chick-flick type book, but I'm being serious here, read it again!  This time look at it from the correct point of view: she's going on an adventure to better herself, then she's writing a book to brag about it, and in between she's building herself up by her "amazing" romances, great food, and epic journey along the way.  Holy crap, I'm so over it...  I know, I sound bitter, and to be honest with you: it's only because I am.  She was getting paid to make a life changing journey around the world.  And why do I find myself thinking that sounds familiar??  OOOhhhh yeaaaahhhh...because I'm doing the same thing right now.  Where's my book deal? Where is my movie offer? Why isn't Julia Roberts chomping at the bit to play me?  I write my blogs so that my family and friends can keep up with my year abroad, not to brag about all the great times I'm having or the important life lessons I learn along the way.  However, after reading this God awful book I'm thinking that I should start.  The book got amazing reviews; I'm thinking that my book would have to get just as many.  And probably a lot more not so great ones as well :)  BUT, I'm totally okay with that.  My life includes self realization, epic journeys around the world, and exotic eperiences.  I, however, have a lot more drinking, wild times, and nudity along the way.  I'm no longer in a long term or long distance relationship and I think I have a clear enough head to write about my shennanigans in a far away country.  Don't get me wrong, I realize that my blogs aren't the funniest things you will ever read.  But I can assure you with my rediculous and true tales and the help of a creative genius (my sister, obviously) I am fairly confident that we can turn my one perfect year abroad into the book that Eat. Pray. Love. was supposed to be.


On a completely different note, My life is amazing.  I am the exotic blonde in Madrid looking for a good time.  Handsome men and good food are in my day to day life and on top of everything else...I found out a little bit more about the life I would like to have and exactly how to reach it.  LIFE IS AMAZING.  Eat your heart out, Elizabeth Gilbert <3

Im your biggest fan I'll follow you until you love me...

James and I at GAGA!!

The only other people dressed up at the concert.  They were from Germany and were wearing liederhosen...really.

The weekend came and I caught a plane to Frankfurt and then on to Budapest to meet up with my amazing friend, James.  When I first got there we immediately head out for food and sightseeing.  First stop: Langos.  Langos is BY FAR the greatest thing that I have ever put in my mouth.  Its like a solid elephant ear with sour cream and cheese on top.  Don't worry Ohio, I wrote down a bomb recipe for it and will be bringing it home for the Christmas :)  Seriously, its like a fried up cloud with presents on top.  A masterpiece, really.  So after a little taste of heaven, we walked to the center of the city where almost every shop in the city was closed (at 6pm , BIIIG difference from Madrid) and saw basically all that the city center had to offer.  Of course we took some crazy pics along the way (direct your attention to facebook for those!) and had a really great time.  James is one of those friends that I can go a while without seeing and when we finally get around to a play date we pick up right where we left off.  And that is exactly what we did.  That night we went back to his house and started drinking.  Heavily.  We somehow made it out, had some great craic, and then caught the bus back to his house.  The next day we went out in the DAYLIGHT to get some great pictures and see more of the city.  After all the fun to be had in one morning was up, we came home, showered, and dressed for GAGA.  Now for those that know me, are aware that Lady gaga isn't very high on my music play list....BUT GAGA was AMAZING!!!  Us, being two of the very few Americans in the crowd were two of about 5 people that dressed up for the concert.  We're Americans, it's in our DNA to dress up at any chance we can :)  After the concert we went to what I can only imagine to be the ONLY gay club in commie Hungary and met the most amazing tranny I have ever seen in my whole life.  She was about 6'6" and was wearing 5 inch heels, a home made GAGA outfit with mask and all and was absolutely glorious in all of her wonder.  Obviously we quickly made friends with her, grabbed a drink, and started getting down on the dance floor.  When we showed up to the bar we were no joke the only two people on the dance floor.  When we left, we had our very own groupies, people buying us drinks, and a dance floor packed wall to wall.  You're welcome Budapest :)  James and I were discussing the idea of me moving to Budapest with him next year but I have to say, if we created that much chaos in one night I'm not sure if Budapest could handle the 2 of us tehre together for a whole year.  It could either be epic or fatal...or both.  All in all we had SUCH an amazing time together in a pretty kick ass city but I'd be lying if I didn't say that I wasn't ready to come back to the sunshine and smiling faces of Madrid.  I love it here, have I mentioned that yet? Oh, I did?? Okay, just making sure :)  I'm wicked impressed with ourselves tho, not many people can say they went and saw a Lady GaGa concert...in Budapest.  Random? yes.  Glorious??  HELL YES!!  Life win.

ali took Madrid like a tornado made of teeth, fingernails, and booze

Ali and I at Retiro :)

Ohhhh man this life is going by faster than I can describe to you.  I thought I was doing okay keeping up with this but it turns out I was sadly mistaken!  Ali came into town like I've been waiting for and it was sooo fun!  She made me miss college, and lax, and our parties every weekend in Cori.  Man I miss that place, is that sad?!?  Yeah, a little, BUT I'm in Madrid having a wicked fun time so I guess things have a way of evening themselves out, right??  Well, Ali got here on a cold and rainy Friday night (literally the first bad weathered night since I've been in Madrid) and we cleaned her up and took her out dancing in Sol with some friends.  Needless to say we were on the verge of dying that night with the crazy good time we had and found ourselves stumbling into my door around 5AM, BUZZ going and all.  We slept in a bit the next day and took her and Kendall sight seeing around the city.  This is by far my favorite thing to do with guests because I get to see parts of the city I otherwise wouldn't see and it gives me the chance to fully appreciate all the beauty of this city :)  It's serisously amazing; I'm waiting for all you North Americaners to get out here!!!  That night we got dressed up and Ali and her friend went to a dinner with some of their friends and were going to meet us at my friends place later in the night.  When I say "dressed up" I mean it was halloween weekend and we wore our costumes out.  For all you people in the states, this doesn't seem odd at all.  To all the Madrilenyos out there, this is a very mind blowing thing for people over the age of 12.  We were the only people in the metro, streets, and apartments of Madrid dressed up and needless to say, the main event that evening.  We had a crazy good time at our friends house and before I knew it, it was 2 AM and there was no signs of Ali or her friend.  AWESOME.  My first official guests and I've lost them.  We came home and waited.  Nothing.  I must have fallen asleep and at 8AM the next morning our door bell was ringing.  Half expecting to see the policia to inform me of some horrific news about 2 crazy americans being obducted, I opened the door to find my two little girls (Ali and Kendall) dressed in their halloween costumes from the night before and ready for bed.  I guess they ended up getting a little more loco than anticipated and stayed at their friends' house.  That day was spent very lazily and we went out again that evening.  The next day was their last day here and we decided to do a picnic in Retiro (the picture above is from the picnic over looking the pond) with some of my Spanish friends.  After that we were feeling pretty good and recovered so we decided to meet some of my other friends out.  We found ourselves at a few bars, kept it low key and got home around 1AM.  Normally I'd say that was a pretty early night, except they had to leave my house by 6AM to catch their plane and I had to leave my house by 7AM to get to school on time for classes.  MAN I miss them soo much already!  I love my life here but it stinks to get a taste of what you're missing with your friends from home.  I'll survive but for the time being it still stings a little to not see them everyday!!  So the week flew by, like always, and we had some great fun in my classes learning the cha-cha slide (ooo yes, ladies and gents.  My spanish kids know the cha cha slide.  one of the more important aspects of American culture, in my opinion!) and writing short halloween stories.  It was also the last week of my first semester of grad school.  1/4 of my Masters is down, 3/4 to go, BABYYY!!!