Eat, Pray, Love? More like Complain, Whine, Talk about yourself.

Fans of the book Eat. Pray. Love.  beware: you're not going to take kindly to this blog.  AT ALL.  Where to begin, where to begin...


Well, let's just first say that it doesn't always take horrible tragedy like not being satisfied with your marriage to decide to enlighten oneself.  I would just like to point out that she had money, a nice house, great job, and a wonderful husband and she still wasn't happy.  Fine, but was it REALLY necessary for her to flip the hell out and make a mountain out of a mole hill???  Yeah, I didn't think so either.  Next, I get it, you're good looking.  Fantastic, but do you really need to remind the reader about it every 15 pages?  With your hot and steamy affairs with men half your age, which just for the record, doesn't speak very highly of you, just that the younger men liked that you either had more money and power than they did or that you were the exotic tourist that was only going to be in town for a limited time.  Therefore: no long term commitment needed.  I know what all of you are thinking, leave it to me to be the one to tear apart a nice chick-flick type book, but I'm being serious here, read it again!  This time look at it from the correct point of view: she's going on an adventure to better herself, then she's writing a book to brag about it, and in between she's building herself up by her "amazing" romances, great food, and epic journey along the way.  Holy crap, I'm so over it...  I know, I sound bitter, and to be honest with you: it's only because I am.  She was getting paid to make a life changing journey around the world.  And why do I find myself thinking that sounds familiar??  OOOhhhh yeaaaahhhh...because I'm doing the same thing right now.  Where's my book deal? Where is my movie offer? Why isn't Julia Roberts chomping at the bit to play me?  I write my blogs so that my family and friends can keep up with my year abroad, not to brag about all the great times I'm having or the important life lessons I learn along the way.  However, after reading this God awful book I'm thinking that I should start.  The book got amazing reviews; I'm thinking that my book would have to get just as many.  And probably a lot more not so great ones as well :)  BUT, I'm totally okay with that.  My life includes self realization, epic journeys around the world, and exotic eperiences.  I, however, have a lot more drinking, wild times, and nudity along the way.  I'm no longer in a long term or long distance relationship and I think I have a clear enough head to write about my shennanigans in a far away country.  Don't get me wrong, I realize that my blogs aren't the funniest things you will ever read.  But I can assure you with my rediculous and true tales and the help of a creative genius (my sister, obviously) I am fairly confident that we can turn my one perfect year abroad into the book that Eat. Pray. Love. was supposed to be.


On a completely different note, My life is amazing.  I am the exotic blonde in Madrid looking for a good time.  Handsome men and good food are in my day to day life and on top of everything else...I found out a little bit more about the life I would like to have and exactly how to reach it.  LIFE IS AMAZING.  Eat your heart out, Elizabeth Gilbert <3