Damn it feels good to be a Flynnster

Welcome to 2012!  Man, how weird is that?  I suppose it’s all just part of the silly process.  You blink and the calendar starts-a-changin’.  The weirdest thing is that I got all of my Spanish residency woes under control, finished up my last lessons in 2011 and got on a plane back home.  I swear that all took about 25 seconds but it ended up taking a few days.  There’s no way I can describe on here exactly how it feels to come back home after a long stay in a different country.  My flight from Madrid to New York was delayed a few hours which made me miss my connecting flight from NY to Columbus but I was put on the next flight out a few hours later.  My flight from Madrid to NY went by in a flash however my flight from NY to Ohio felt like it lasted 3 days.  It was like I was 6 years old again and we were on the ferry going from the mainland to the Magic Kingdom in Disney.  I swear that ferry is set at the speed of “snail” just because they know how excited the little kids are to get over there and this just is one more way for adults to torture children.  Anyway, as soon as we were in our descend out of the sky and onto the runway in Columbus, Ohio I just felt better.  I always wait until I see the Cap city skyline and then I close my eyes and start imagining that I’m already at home.  With my family and dogs and my cat.  An instant and uncontrollable smile creeps up over my face and I’m pretty sure I start glowing a faint bit.  After I got off the plane and walked through the empty concourse my heart started pitter-pattering faster and faster until it reached “hummingbird” speed and I knew I’d be seeing my family in a few short minutes.  I turned the corner at a nervous walk/run pace and went through the security into civilian air and immediately saw my mom, brothers, and sister in law.  WWOOOOHOOOO!!  I was home, baby!!  I really don’t get separation anxiety or homesickness but you really don’t know how much ya miss it till ya’ve been gone for months and come back.  Damn it felt good to give my momma a hug.  Another benefit of living 4,000 miles away from home? We get to eat at all the places I want to eat at.  First on the menu??  Mellow Mushroom pizza, of course :)  Mellow Mushroom is my first go-to for multiple reasons.  Not only do the serve up a Kosmic Karma pizza that make your taste buds do a happy dance and your stomach give you a well done pat on the back, but they have Magic Hat #9 on tap.  Holler back.  Don’t get me wrong, I love Spain...but their drafts should be ashamed to call themselves a beer.  It’s like carbonated water with a little wheat flavor and coloring.  When ya get back to the states from europe your best bet is to hit up Mellow Mushroom to make your taste buds come to life again.  After the ‘shroom, we went back home to where I almost peed my pants in excitement to see my little puppies again!! Don’t let me fool you, they aren’t actually puppies, they’re 4 and 5 years old.  And when I say little, I mean both of them are tipping the scales at well over 100 pounds.  The white one, Murphy, doesn’t get riled up too much but as soon as our eyes locked he was like a grey hound right out of the gate.  He almost barreled right thru me!  The brown one, Marley, was just as charged.  Whoever says that dogs are just dumb animals, aside from being the ignorance you have to live with the rest of your sad lives, I must tell you that you are completely mistaken.  They love you with all of their heart and if you let them into yours I can promise you that you won’t be sorry.  they truly are a man’s best friend.  They followed me around the entire night and even slept up in my big comfy bed with me.  In the morning I woke up to Marley’s big furry head in my face, undoubtedly in disbelief that I was still there after 12 hours.  I’m sure if Murphy woke before 10AM he would have been right up in there too.  Instead he’s my lazy baby and was still snug as a bug next to me snoring.  Yeah, he snores.  LOUD.                                                      

That's my baby Murphy...on my Queen sized bed!!  That boy takes up darn near the whole thing!!

 I’m going to share with you the highlights of my trip home and spare you from all of the hussle bussle that took place.  It would take me a month to write it all down in here and just as long for you to read it.  I’m writing this all after the fact (as I wait during my 6 hour layover in JFK) so a lot of editing will be done and you will get the idea of all the things I did.  But let me start by saying that it’s always great to be home and this trip lived up to ever expectation that I had for it :)  Really I only write this to keep my family and friends updated on what’s been going on in my life because I’m so far away, most of ya guys know exactly what has happened during my stay back home, but here are some highlights:

*CHRISTMAS!!! all four of my siblings and our parents were all together on Christmas day.  It sounds funny, but to have all 6 of us in the same room is rare.  To have all 6 of us together, in the same room, on a HOLIDAY is darn near unheard of these days.  Santa, as always was great to us all and we had a great time.  My dad’s side of the family had the big family christmas a few weeks prior so I didn’t get to attend that but we did make it to my mom’s side in Toledo for our christmas party there.  It was incredible.  yet again all of us were in attendance. :) :)

Most recent addition to the Brown clan.  Let me introduce Gage Mason on the scene :)

*NEW YEAR’S!  I took a few close friends and we headed to my lake house with our dogs.  Although I was thinking I’d have a crazy night out on the town in C-bus, this was so much better.  Again, great food, great booze, great friends, and my doggies...sooo great!!

The puppies were exhausted and I was hungover.  We felt better after a nap on the sofa together :) :)

*Back to Toledo and Port Clinton!  Went on a road trip with dear old dad.  I had a meeting in Toledo and got to see my grandparents one last time before I hopped the country so I was very excited to see them.  We went to lunch together and talked for a bit and before I knew it I was being whisped away by my dad to Port Clinton so spend the night with my other grandparents in Port Clinton.  It’s real nice to get up there by the water and there are always surprises at this house so I was rather excited to get over there.  About 5 minutes after stepping through the door I had my first surprise: My aunt Tina and uncle John got there with their over night bags to stay with us.  Sweeeeet.  About 20 minutes later we were surprised yet again by my aunt Theresa and uncle Tom.  Double sweeeeet.  We all went out and got a great meal in us.  We also stopped at the drive-thru beer stop up the road (God Bless America and Beer places you can just drive thru without leaving your car).  When we got home we cracked some bottles and soon found ourselves planning an over night stay in a casino in Indiana just past Cincinnati.  That must be where I get it from...  My mana even made me Benyas (that’s right Flynn kids and Flynn grandkids: MANA MADE ME BENYAS. just for me.  jealous?!?!)  Before the night was over, we had played a full round of $1.35 cards, which I’m pretty sure my dad cheated the entire time, we were stuffed with miller lite and benyas, and we had planned and booked our stay in the casino hotel for later in the week.

*Hollywood Casino!!  The last time my family all went out to Las Vegas, I was absolutely smittened my the craps table (haha, craps) and I needed to learn how to play immediately.  Unfortunately, it's easier to learn a second language than it is to learn all the thousands of rules to craps and the over 150 ways to bet without anyone to explain it.  I sat for 2 days watching and drinking it all in.  When we planned an absolutely spontaneous trip to the casino, it was MY TIME TO SHINE!!  AFter about 4 hours of watching, waiting, and Dad insisting I play I decided to do it.  Also, Dad giving me money to play really pushed my ambition over the edge.  I threw my money down like I didn't want it to exchange it out for chips (seriously, I tried to lay it down nicely and the dealer yelled at me and told me so slam it on the table like I'm not interested...which is damn near impossible to be quite frank.  But I played the part).  Surprisingly, I put a bet down and I won.  And then I won again.  And then the guy threw a 7 and his roll was over.  They collected the chips and looked at me expectantly.  I looked down and realized "holy shit, it's my turn to throw those die!!  I picked them up, swirled them around and gave them a chuck...and the die flew right over the wall of the table and onto the ground.  For those of you that don't play craps, I'ma tell ya right now...That's a biiiiiig newbie mistake.  Might as well tattoo "loser" on my forehead and call it a day.  Surprisingly, the men around the table took a liking to me and once I started rolling, everyone around the table started winning.  Until I rolled a 7.  And then I lost.  And lost again.  And then all of Dad's money was spent.  But seriously, I was there with my grandparents and aunt and uncle and cousin and Dave and mom and dad and I didn't really give a hoot because I got to throw them dice!!!

At the casino, fanny packs are a MUST...clearly!

With my mom, my beautiful counsin Sarah and Mana.  I look just like my Momma...She's hot.

*Spontaneous party at the Flynn house!!  I had the great honor of having a spontaneous going away party called in my name and got to see some of my thousands of cousins which was spectacular as well as some aunts, uncles, a rob, and some other tag-a-longs.  It was just magnificent.  And Belle made a special appearance even tho she's not fond of crowds just to be with her momma.  I love my little Belle-tini

Belle-tini under the tree...with a six pack of the silver bullet

Belle got about 10 toys from Santy Clause and her favorite thing to play with is still one of my hair pins.  Silly Kitty

She refuses to drink from anything except a sink.  She's quite persnickety...just like her Mommy.  Can ya tell how much I love her?!?!  <3

Time just slipped right on thru my fingers as per usual at my house and before I knew it I was aboard a plane shipping me back to Spain.  A little jetlagged and zombie-esque as I am thrown completely out of time whack but it was a vacation well needed and I’m so happy I got to go back if not for just a couple of weeks.  Now, back to the hussle-bussle of Madrid and surprisingly loving it :)

Here’s to a happy, healthy, and one hell of a new year as we slide right in and get situated in 2012 <3 <3

It's my birthday and I'll dance if i want to...

Wait, what just happened?? I blinked and the calendar changed to December??  Shwat the heck is this all about? After the trip to Sevilla, we have been laying (considering our circumstances) rather low.  By low I mean 13 hour work days and taking in madrid with drinks and friends on the weekends.  November was quite a struggle for us in Madrid because, unlike the US (and I’m pretty sure most of the rest of the world) we have long weekends here just about as frequent as you change your underpants.  Well hopefully, for most of us, changing your underpants is a bit more frequent...but ya get my drift.  After we went to Sevilla we had 3 FULL 5 day weeks at school and let me tell you: I’m soo not a fan of that nonsense! haha.  For those 3 weeks I was sick with yet another cold and working my tail into the ground to get my classes taken care of.  We got to talk about Thanksgiving tho and that is one of my favorite holidays so at least my lessons were a lot of fun (but in all seriousness, when are they not?!?).  During those 3 weeks Callie and I got to plan out our long weekend in the beginning of December as well.  3 words for you: SWITZ--EERRRR--LAND!!  We decided to go to switzerland for the long 5 day weekend that just so happened to fall the week after my birthday.  Holler back:)  We tediously planned everything out and actually went the extra mile and booked our plane tickets with an actual real human sized  airplane with a real airline.  Normally we take the cheap route and go with ryan air or something of that like where the plane always feels like it’s made out of plastic and will snap in half with the first sign of turbulence and the people are packed into their seats like pickles.  I would say packed like sardines but I’ve never actually bought a can of sardines and I can’t honestly say I know how they’re packed in there.  But holy hell have you bought a jar of pickles lately?? You have to use a fork to pry the first 2 or 3 out before there is wiggle room.  So, you’re packed like pickles in a small plane that bounces and cracks with the wind...sounds comfy, right?? We then booked out our hostels which looked like they were clean and didn’t have creepy crawlers lurking behind every corner which is the norm for us.  Oh yes, we were planning a trip of luxury.  We also went to a few different Thanksgiving parties at various American friends’ places that left us over stuffed and under sober if ya know what I’m talking about :)  The weekend of my birthday was absolutely BOSS CITY!! We planned to have our friends over on December 3, the eve of my birthday, and have our own thanksgiving party.  Callie and I got up early, went to the market and bought all of our fresh groceries and then spent the day cooking, cleaning, drinking, and fighting to make ourselves presentable for company.  People started showing up at our place around 8 and we feasted on the roasted chicken, mashed potatoes and about a million other things that were brought by our guests. 

 We also went through about 6 bottles of hard liquor and 2 cases of beer so by midnight, after numerous drinks and what seemed like endless games of beer pong, we were ready to hit the streets around midnight.  We went to an intense bar in Tribunal (great for late night “let your hair down” type sessions) that had liter sized mixed drinks and a dance floor for the masses.  We started to lose people to fatigue and intoxication so some party goers started to trek back to their places for the night.  But the strong will perceiver.  We headed out and on the hunt for a new place to spread our wings.  We started to line p to a different bar but opted for more dancing instead.  We ended up at the biggest gay club I have ever been to or see in all of my life.  It was straight out of the movies.  This place was bumping like nobody’s business and the trannies were wearing heals longer than my legs.  Imagine a 6’5 guy in 8 inch platformed stiletto sized 15 shoes.  Now multiply this image by 20 because that is at least the number of trannies that were dancing on platforms.  We let completely lose and I wont give all the details because I value our friendship but we ended up getting home around 7AM.  Surely a birthday to remember, even if the memories will be clouded with alcohol and dancing machines.

Ummm...I think you're leaking.

Welp, it’s that time of the month again.  The time when I set aside a wee bit of my precious free time and fill ya’ll in on the happenings around here.  I would first like to let everyone know that I am almost completely healed from the injuries sustained in the previous blog.  Thank goodness.  I’d love to report that things have been nice and quiet in these parts but truth be told, that will never be a reality.  Callie and I spent our long weekend at the end of October (seriously, we get so many catholic holidays around here it’s absolutely criminal) on a lovely honeymoon style trip to the south of Spain in a beautiful city called Sevilla.  This, being our favorite part of Spain that we have visited thus far, was something we were very much looking forward to.  We had Monday and Tuesday off school and decided to head out Friday night and stay until Tuesday night.  I, being a real master of time, decided to get a sinus infection and a double ear infection (yes, my right ear, my sinuses, and my left ear all acquired an infection at the same time, it IS possible) two days before the scheduled departure.  I went to the doctor and they gave me a one time look over and told me, basically, that i was in some real shit.  You know in so many words.  They gave me some antibiotics and pain killers and sent me on my way.  Friday I went to school with toilet paper in both my ears to stop the leak and a whole roll of toilet paper in my bag for blowing my nose.  And yes, to answer your question, I did use it all.  At one point my paper must have fallen from my ears.  I only know this because a student was looking in his english-spanish dictionary feverishly and then timidly raised his hand to tell me I was leaking from my ear.  Leaking!  Fantastic.  After my evening classes I went home, wandered around the apartment aimlessly trying to occupy my time so I wouldn’t fall asleep or take my medication until we got on the bus and finally packed my bag with about 5 minutes to spare.  We hopped the train to the bus station and I decided I couldn’t take it anymore so I popped my pills and within minutes (literally) I was set.  Im not really sure what kind of pain killers they gave me but the label should just read “take these if you want to die for 4-8 hours” because as soon as we boarded the bus I was out like a light.  Gone to the living world and having dreams that can only be compared to a clock work orange.  We arrived to our hostel at 7AM exhausted and ready for bed.  We checked in, went to our room and low and behold someone was sleeping in one of our beds.  We managed to get things taken care of and tucked in for 3 hours to rest up for the day ahead of us.  If you haven’t been there before, Andalucia (a southern province in Spain) is absolutely breath taking.  It’s where the Alhombra is.  It’s were citrus trees grow free in the streets.  It’s where the backwoods accent is so think you think they are speaking Greek.  It’s laid back, sunny, lazy, and perfect for a long weekend.  We roamed the streets and went to open air markets and naturally took pictures with everything we saw.

  We took romantic strolls around the town and took tours of the largest gothic style cathedral in the world (IN THE WORLD!!) and the city in general. 

We ate some amazing food and drank even better wine.  We decided that we wanted to take a day trip to the beach and chose to take a 1.5 hour bus ride to Cadiz.  The bus was at 7AM so we had literally ALL day there.  We laid around lazy on the beach, walked around the old city, and ate what I can only describe as the best thing we have eaten thus far in Spain.  It was fried fish and it was heaven in a light brown crispy shell.  We went to the top of the highest tour and got to see a panoramic view of the city and ocean.  We were thinking ahead and brought a bottle of wine with us so we strolled back down to the beach, popped the cork and were ready to watch the sun go down on a picturesque view of the sea.  We put on some music and were pleasantly disturbed by a nice young gentleman asking us if we had any paper to roll a cigarette.  We did not and he walked back to his friend who was strumming a guitar.  About 10 minutes go by and the gentleman came back to us.  This time, in ENGLISH, he asked if we cared to join him and his friend to “make a party and watch the sunset”.  uuummmm, okay :)  We picked up our things and walked over to the guitar.  They then proceeded to serenade us as the sun set on the ocean.  They even sang blues music and made songs up on the spot about Callie and I.  Life win.  We slowly stumbled back across the town to the bus station, boarded our bus and went to sleep.  We were abruptly awoken by a crash.  Literally.  Our bus driver must have hit a car or a bike or a pedestrian...AND THEN KEPT GOING!!  I looked back to see the man in the back completely under the seat in front of him.  Apparently his seat was broken and acted like a projectile device when we crashed and his seat was across the bus and he was piled up in a ball under the chairs in front of him.  All I could do was laugh.  I couldn’t even help.  Let me back up for a minute and tell you why...

The day before Callie and I were hanging out on the steps near the bus station planning our relaxing day at the spa.  The steps were in front of the river and next to us (about 5 meters) there was a bridge that takes you over the river.  Many people ride their bikes in Sevilla so it wasn’t a huge surprise to us that we heard the swishing of a very fast bike rider behind us.  I started to get suspicious when I didn’t hear him slowing so I looked back.  Oddly enough, the man looked as though he was headed straight for the area of steps in between myself and the bridge.  Well that couldn’t be right.  There were about 20 steps down to the sidewalk next to the river and he was on a bike.  How was that going to work?  On and on he rode, faster and faster as he approached and still was not  changing his course.  And then it happened.  About 2 feet away from me the man started down the stairs on his bike at a lightening flash speed.  First 4 steps down were perfect.  The fifth changed his fate forever.  He must have hit the step sideways on his bike and started a spiral fall.  He fell for about 15 steps and smashed like a cartoon character on the pavement below.  I’m half surprised the pavement didn’t crack like when an acme anvil is thrown off a cliff and hits the pavement directly behind the roadrunner.  The only movement was the bike wheel still attached to the bike spinning crooked.  The other when was jammed firmly into the man’s groin.  My first reaction, thinking the man was absolutely dead (no one could survive a death fall like that) was to look at Callie to make sure she had witnessed it too.  Not because I thought it was funny, but because I don’t have the Spanish vocabulary to write a police report of this nature.  To our surprise, the man survived.  His pride, however, did not.  I was opening my mouth to call out “Are you okay?” when he looked back in the most spiteful of ways and flipped me off.  Yep, sour puss face and middle finger raised right at me.  Like I had a hand in him speeding down 20 concrete stairs on a bike and made him crash.  Slowly he scraped himself off the ground as gingerly as could be and molded his bike back into form like tin foil.  He twisted his seat back around in the forward facing position and tried to raise his leg over the bar to get back on his bike.  Nope, bad idea.  That wasn’t an option so he slowly walked away.  Things had to have been broken.  Internal bleeding of sorts must have been involved and I’m more positive that he can never have children again than I am that the sky is blue.  Anyway, my point is that I was being very serious and concerned about this falling man’s health and he flipped me off.  I wasted my serious on that fall and every other fall is minor in comparison.  So when I saw this helpless man crammed under the seat because he was thrown from his own...I laughed.  Luckily I had previously made friends with him when the route was first getting underway and he looked at me, realized I was paralyzed with the giggles and started to laugh right back.  pheewwwww, crisis avoided.  On our final day in Sevilla we went to an ancient arabic bath house and spent the morning relaxing in different whirlpools and steam rooms and baths.  We also got massages there which were just the gummy bears (I would say cherries but I don’t like those) on top.  We then sat to test some wine and olive oils only to realize that we missed our bus back.  Well, nothing we could do then so we decided to relax, drink in the scenery and vino and casually catch the evening bus back to Madrid.  Perfect weekend! 

The day I almost lost a nipple....again

It’s already the closing of october? no, that can’t be right.  really??  ssshhwwwhaaaatt???  Well I just can’t believe it but I suppose it’s the truth.  It says it on every newspaper that i’ve looked at today.  We’ve been keeping ourselves so busy with work and our private english lessons that there really isn’t much to report.  We haven’t gone on any adventures, we haven’t run into too much trouble, and other than a major wipeout in the halls and a birthday celebration for Callie, I’d say it’s rather lame over here.  First, let’s start with the wipeout...

It was a beautiful fall day in Madrid.  The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, it was a balmy 95 degrees (in October?!?!), and Brenna was racing around the halls of el Colegio Patrocinio de San Jose as always.  I didn’t have a break in between my last class of the day for normal classes and my first class of the school of English here at school.  It was a Thursday so I was running back to the teachers’ workroom to drop off my books for the older kids and grab all of my arts and crafts supplies for my 4 year olds.  In one hand I grabbed my construction paper, glue, glitter, and markers and in the other I grabbed a fairly large pair of scissors.  One of the teachers saw I was in a hurry and jokingly said “Brenna, you’d better not run with those scissors!!” and me, being a smartass, put the scissors point down in my hand in the safety position and said mockingly “Oh yes, SAFETY FIRST!!”  And with that, I was off in a blaze.  Down the hall i ran in my squeaky hot pink crocs towards the infant side of the building.  I finally got down the hall and could see my students on the landing ahead of me about 6 stairs above the hall.  They all saw me as well and acknowledged this by screaming “BREEEENNNAAAAA!!!!” and jumping in excitement.  (side note: I’d love to say they just get this excited when I come but truth be told 4 year olds get excited for anything.  ie: okay, it’s time to dance “YAAYYY!! DANCE!!”  okay, it’s time to color “YAAYYY!! COLOR!!”  okay, it’s toilet time... “YAAYYY!! TOILETS!!”) So there they were with their eyes full of hope, wonder and innocents and there I was running up the halls with my huge backpack on and my hands full of art supplies and death trap scissors.  Well wouldn’t you know I made it up the first 5 stairs without a glitch.  The sixth and final step would, however, decide my fate.  The top of my hot pink croc got stuck on the edge of the stair and I started to propel in the oddest forward motion that has ever been witnessed in these halls I guarantee you.  I suddenly started in a running motion as I was falling up the stairs due to the excess weight of the pack on my back.  I knew I was in for it and yet I still was holding on to hope (and art supplies and large scissors) and kept running to try to regain my balance.  Just take a minute to picture it.  You’ve all seen the running fall on America’s Funniest home videos, or in person if you were ever so lucky.  Well that was me.  In front of 4 year olds all looking on in disbelief (yes children, adults do fall from time to time).  Finally there was no more hope and I was going down.  Faster and faster I fell until all of the sudden I hit the ground like a ton of flayling bricks.  There was an instant lightening bolt pain in my right nipple.  What was that?  It only took me a split second to remember the scissors.  HOLLLYYYYY SHIIIIITTTTT!!  I just impaled myself on a pair of large scissors in front of my children and they entered via the right nipple.  Not only am I dead but now all the children and EMTs that come to collect my body will remember me as the weird American girl that cut her nipple off.  Fantastic.  I didn’t want to breath.  or move.  and so for a good 30 seconds i decided to just lay there with my eyes closed and my chest 6 inches above the ground in silence.  Finally i realized “IM NOT DEAD!!”  that was only half the battle, now I needed to check that nipple.  I looked down in pure astonishment as I realized that earlier when I mockingly said “ha ha, safety first” I inadvertently saved my life, my dignity, and my right nipple.  The point of the scissors was planted in the wooded floor and the handle was so far in my chest I swear you could see the finger holes coming out my back.  Slowly I got up, took my first breath, and checked my chest to make sure areola was intact and of the proper shape in my shirt.  Turns out, all systems were a go for me.  phewww, that. was. close!  I looked over at the children and realized that their eyes were the size of watermelons and there was condensation forming in two pairs.  If you ever wondered what 18 4-year olds look like scared stiff, please, re-enact the previous catastrophe.  I will advise you, however, it’s THE WORST!!  Before I finished telling them that everything was alright one of them was a complete ball of heat, tears, and snot and another was well on her way.  I bent down to give her a hug and she clung to me like a spider monkey.  Her gooey fingers tightly clasped around my neck and her snotty, teary face embedded in my hair.  Wonderful.  I couldn’t stand up without her so I moved all of my supplies to one hand (carefully placing the scissors in my bag, of course) and picked her up with my other arm.  Plainly, I had to hold her at an arms length because the area that had been impaled was entirely to sore for a booger monster to be against it.  When I stood up, the other teary eyed child immediately put her hand up from behind me and in between my legs so she had a firm grip on my groin and we were all off to class.  Finally.  Apart from the snot that took me an entire day to remove from my hair, a black and blue mark that is still healing on my boob, and a nice crotch grab...I’d say we still had a pretty successful day of arts and crafts. 

In the United States people are so paranoid about where to touch children and how to handle them because we are complete prudes that it was a swift change to move to a place where you literally can’t go a whole day of school without kissing at least 20 students.  When the little ones leave they line up at the door and I need to hand them over to their parents.  I find their parents, they pull me down for a hug and a kiss, and they are off.  I’m still not completely over the whole hygiene aspect of this tradition, but I’m in love with my children.  The older kids interrupt class to make fun of my hot pink crocs that I wear on my feet or let me know that it’s really not lady-like to wear my hair in a pony tail everyday.  But the little ones stop class to kiss me and tell me how beautiful I am.  HEEELLLLOOO?!?! Does it get any better than that??  Don’t get me wrong, I’m in no rush to have a germ monster of my own any time soon, but I’d loooooovvveeee a niece or nephew.....sean...katie???  I’m just saying.

Curious coconuts and crazy cockroaches

WE HAVE A HOME!!!  The road to getting where we are today is a bit on the rocky side of things, BUT after due diligence and lots of frustration, we have rented an apartment for the year and it feels darn good :)  Although I hate to leave the nest at Belén’s, it is time for me to spread my wings and get a goin’ to where I gots to be getting.

Belén has cooked me many meals and we have finished even more bottles of wine and beer with Miguel and it’s been a fabulous time.  Let me share with you the details of the past week’s events:

School started up with a nice kick in the pants.  Students don’t realize this, but teachers want to be in classes just as much as the kids do.  So, at the beginning of the year you can imagine the ambience at this place.  But, after a week of school already in session, I received my time table of classes and was all legit to go.  Belén made pizza for dinner one night and after we had some fruit for dessert.  I was offered a coco and refused (trust me, when you are in a different country and you are offered a food that you don’t understand the name of, ALWAYS REFUSE!!  Never know if you are going to luck out with something totally rad or a bowl full of monkey brains) but I’m soooo glad Irea, the youngest of Belén’s daughters, did not.  I was thinking it was something chocolate-ish and being a hater of most sweets I really thought I was being clever by connecting coco to cocoa.  But alas, Miguel went to the fridge and pulled out this coco.  And it was a coconut.  Another bad guess by the Brennster.  Anyway, it wasn’t like shredded coconut, it was a whole hairy round coconut.  I may be a little sheltered but never in my day have I seen such a thing uncut and uncleaned.  For these reasons I was incredibly curious to see how you do in fact open a coconut.  I have no idea where to even begin to open a coconut.  Well it wasn’t long after I was watching that I realized that Miguel didn’t have the slightest clue either.  Awesome.  First he tried to stab it with a knife.  NOPE.  The he tried to use a wine bottle opener.  Strike 2.  Finally he left the kitchen and returned with a pick and hammer.  Ding ding ding, we have a winner.  He managed to pike 2 small holes in the top of the coconut and drain the juice.  To my surprise that coconut was packin quite a bit of juice.  Like a whole stinkin pint.  (and here’s a little tip for all those who have not yet drank from a freshly stabbed coconut: the juice=not good.  Bad actually, very very bad.)  So great, he drained the coconut and now he just needed to get up in there and take out all the fresh white meat.  He swings open the window and give the beast fruit a solid whack.  nothing.  cracks it again.  nothing.  One last violent blow and *poof* the difficult little round fruit opens up like a clam and reveals its inner goodness.  Irea ate a bite and was less than impressed with it, the look on Miguel’s face was priceless.  Hurt even.  All the hard work, creativity, and sweat on his brow for a less than enthusiastic response.  I tried some fresh coco myself and I have to tell ya...tastes just like sunscreen smells.  

Okay so after a week of searching, turn downs, and cramping a friend’s style in her house, we finally found an apartment that we could move into immediately.  It is in the exact same neighborhood as our place last year and it appeared to be pretty great.  We are only renting the rooms so although we have access to the whole place, there are 3 rooms and we don’t have a say in the other roommate because the landlords rent that out on a first come first served basis.  Bueno.  We paid the first month’s rent and a one month deposit and were ready to move in.  Belén and Miguel packed all my things into there VW and drove me over.  After we moved everything in, they left and Callie and I were happy to finally be able to relax.  After a few hours we decided to make our first meal in our new apartment.  We got groceries, ran home and headed for the kitchen.  We flipped on the lights and the counters, sink, and cabinets started moving.  Scurrying really.  It went from brown to white and blue.  If you have not yet guessed, we were NOT on LSD...we had cockroaches.  Not a cockroach or a small peaceful family, but muchas muchas muchas cucarachas.  FFFFUUUUUUUUUUUDDDDDDGGGGEEEEE (just like in “A Christmas Story”, I’m editing the four letter word that creeped out of my mouth.  It felt like slow-mo just the same).  Well this is great.  We just gave some old spanish man that we just met all of our money, didn’t sign a contract, and now have an infestation of critters.  Perfecto.  Well I’ll spare the horrifying details, but we got in contact with our landlord who immediately called the pest control service.  We fumigated the apartment on Friday and slept there Friday night.  Good idea? you decide.  We could use everything but the kitchen so we found some great cheap street food for the weekend and on Monday a cleaning lady came and swept up all of the cockroach bodies and made our place sparkle like new (and it was probably new in about 1930 so considering everything, it doesn’t look half bad at all).  Callie and I are finally all settled in, were told we have a male roommate from the canary islands who doesn’t speak a word of english and will move in at the end of this week.  Clearly, updates to follow.  But as for now we are incredibly happy with our place and have decided that we have lucked out for now.  Holy crap i don’t want to move again and go thru this stuff all over!!!

On a complete side note, I’m writing this in the teachers’ room at my school during my break and I’m sitting in a chair that just so happens to be between the other two teachers in the room.  They are both about 2 feet away from me on either side and they are yelling at each other.   Loudly.  I’m not sure where to look.  AWKWARRRRD.

Homeless aint so bad, i got peeps :)

I know you are thinking to yourself “Homeless?  Surely she’s mistaken.”  Let me put your questions to rest---> I am indeed in the center of madrid in the land of petty thieves and funny languages without a place to hang my hat at the end of the day.  I’ve been here for 5 days and I’m finding it just short of impossible to find an apartment to rent under my working conditions.  You need to have the following prerequisites in order to sign an apartment contract here: be a legal resident (check), have a working contract with a business in Spain (check), have a bank account that has money coming in due to said job (check), and be here for at least one year (check).  So why is this proving to be so stinkin’ difficult?? Because the company that employs me is absolutely impossible and refuses to give me the correct documentation so that I can prove that I qualify for all of these things.  Do I have a contract? yes.  Do I have access to it? no.  They sign the contract and then email it to me.  There is nowhere for me to sign it and in turn the emailed copy is void.  Am I a legal resident? yes.  Do I have a valid card to prove it? no.    My NIE (residence card) is expired and although I have an appointment with the government to get a new one which is all I need for the customs officers and the police officers but not enough to get a place to live.  Have I got a bank account? yes.  Have I been paid in 3 months?  no.  Because I am a teacher I only get paid October thru June and they need to see that I have had money coming in for the last three months (July, August, and September).  Enough to pull your hair out, isn’t it?!?!  Oh Spain, all I do is love you and all you do is poo on me.  WHAT. IS. THE. DEEEAAALLLL?!?!?  I really need to get out of these types of relationships, yaknowwhati’msayin??

However, there is a beautiful silver lining on this one hell of a dark cloud.  My spanish family.  Belén and Miguel and the girls have graciously opened their house (and their refrigerator) to me once again.  I have been staying with them since I arrived and I gotta tell ya’ll: This homeless life really isn’t that bad :)  I have my own bedroom outfitted with a great bed and cool air because it’s in the basement (invaluable in this crazy spanish heat).  I even have my own bathroom with a shower in it.  Not bad, not bad at all.  I know this sounds great and all and you’re all wondering why the heck I’m looking for a new place to live and to be honest the idea of staying in the lap of luxury isn’t a bad one.  But alas, I am an adult and and they are a family and although my time there is great, all good things must come to an end.  It’s like having a slumber party over and over again.  Sooner or later they’re going to get sick of me and I’d really like to leave before we get to that point!

So, in order to find an apartment you have the option of searching a few different ways here.  First, you can look online at the endless apartment websites that either lead you to dead ends or creepy roommates (seriously, I wont bore you with the details but I will say that last night an ad took us to a great area of town, great building, and a sir creepsalot by the name of Mili).  Second, you can walk around the city with your neck strained to look at all the tall buildings because they hang their “for rent” signs off their balconies.  I wish there was a map of the city with my footprints showing all the places we have walked.  We have walked from Legazpi to Tetuán (that’s like 7 miles) and everywhere in between, and Callie has called literally about 75 people inquiring about apartments and so far all the leads we have are just not making the cut.  And if they do we don’t even qualify for the places.  I’m over here walking my ass off (like that’s even possible) and all signs point to---> LOSER.  Nothing.  Nada.  Ladies and gentlemen, check back with me in about 2 months but at the moment, this stinks!  Although this is rather upsetting, i refuse to be discouraged!! I WILL find a place to live.  It WILL be nice.  And I’ll post pictures of the beauty as soon as I’ve won it over :)  It’s been 5 days and I don’t already have everything that I want with all my things falling into place, what is this world coming to??  

Welcome back!...now hit the bricks!

So I’ve left the nest many times in my day.  I left for college when I was only 17 to go to Pittsburgh, I left for Ireland when I was 20, and went for my first round in Madrid when I was 22.  So why then, do I find myself emotional when leaving this time?  I didn’t even know that was possible.  I’ve already been thru this and while I was enjoying my last night at home with my dogs and not packing, I hugged both their necks as hard as I could and when I tried to speak to tell them to be good for Mom and Dad while I was gone, I realized that there was a frog the size of a bowling ball in my throat prohibiting me from speaking.  I got really hot, had trouble breathing, and I could feel my face turn red as my eyes filled up with a watery sting.  What the heck was happening??  I’ve heard of this before, I believe it’s called sadness and I never thought I’d be a victim of this debilitating state.  But, I suppose we all have to go thru it.  I found myself violently bawling in the fur of two very confused labs.  Both my puppies,  Marley and Murphy, are basically the same size as me and although SOME people think they are no more than animals dependent on humans for survival, they’re much more.  They are the creators of happiness, a soft pillow on the floor when I’m watching TV, and the only souls in this world that I can trust with every secret I have ever had.  They are part of our family and we treat them as such.  And when I was spending my last hours with them all I could think about was not being able to run my fingers thru their hair for the next ten months.  I miss my family so much, but they can talk to me on the phone and on skype.  When my parents put the dogs on skype, they just think it’s like the TV and look aimlessly at it.  When they hear my voice they automatically look up at my room, sometimes run up there to see if I’m there, and then that’s it.  They don’t see me on the computer.  Heartbreaking, really.  And so I sat there, like a 5 year old crying.  

The morning that I left I went and got breakfast with my Auntie Joyce and Uncle Bill at steak & shake.  Seriously, their breakfast is pretty good.  Who woulda thought??  They brought me a book and a really sweet card and I found that darn frog resting comfortably snug in my throat once again.  I was holding it in pretty good when I was hugging them good bye but inevitably later when I was reading the card that I couldn’t finish at the burger joint, the tears started rolling.

When we finally rushed out of the house with my poorly packed goods for my 3:00 flight, I was completely frazzled.  I waited to pack my bags the morning I left which in hindsight wasn’t the best of ideas.  So we finally were off to the airport and about 15 minutes into the 30 minute ride I realized that I had left my spanish cell phone at home.  While a mobile phone sounds rather insignificant in the big scheme of things, when you are traveling to a different continent and have no place to live, getting in touch with your friends is the most important thing and that cell phone is like my lifeline.  We didn’t have much time so I called Sean (another source of my tears.  I gave Kyle a hug the night before who also made the frog return. I’m turning into a blubbering baby these days, I’ll tell ya!) to have him meet me at the airport with it.  We got to the airport at about 1:45 and when we finally got our heavy bags checked it was around 2:00.  Perfect, we still had about 40 minutes to hang out with my mom and dad before we had to go thru security so dad was outside at the curb waiting for sean and my mom and I made our way to wendy’s for my LAST frosty in a long long time.  I checked the boards to make sure that my flight was on time and it was.  But the funny thing was: the flight said it was leaving on time...at 2:19.  Weird, why would it say that our flight was on time at 2:19 when it wasn’t leaving until 3:00??  Oohh, riiight, I read the itinerary wrong (i swear that has never happened before!) and I now had 19 minutes to get my phone, get thru security, and catch my flight.  Dad was still waiting outside and I talked with the security who said that they could let me thru and then send my phone thru when it came to meet me at the gate.  Perfect except I didn’t say good bye to my pops yet.  AAAAHHHHHH.  Panic ensued as my mom starts to hug me with her quick good byes trying to push me to security.  I held my ground and at 2:07 (i checked the time every 5 seconds) I saw my dad running towards me with my bright orage covered phone in his hand.  He shoved it in my bags, gave me a kiss and a squeeze and I ran thru the security line, got thru and made it to my gate at exactly 2:09.  10 minutes before the flight takes off, JUST IN THE NICK OF TIME!!  and everybody on my flight was still there waiting.  No one had boarded yet.  How thoughtful waiting for me, right?? SIKE.  They were all waiting because the flight coming in was delayed, in turn delaying mine.  So I still got there with about 40 minutes before we boarded.  AAAHHHHH again.  I rushed for nothing? No wendys???  Son of a...!!!

After my layover in Atlanta I made it to Madrid with a warm welcome from a family of one of my students who picked me up and dropped me off at Beléns (seriously, it’s good to make the right friends, huh?).  I got to her house jet lagged and tired and ready for a nap.  Cecilia, Belén’s daughter, helped me with my smaller bags down to the basement where my room is.  You have to go down a set of winding brick stairs to get there and while a coherent, sober adult would have no problems getting down the stairs in one piece, of course I would have difficulties.  I grabbed my huge bag and started to walk down the stairs and about two steps in completely ate it and fell plunging head first over my bags and down the brick stairs.  Welcome back, Brenna!!  

So what have we learned??  Pack before the morning you leave, check and recheck your flight times, I’m a REALLY ugly cryer, and under no circumstances is it okay to lug a bag bigger than yourself down winding brick stairs.  EVER.  It’s going to be a good year guys, there is no reason for it not to be :):)